Day 8

"Acknowledge the person you came in to work hard for today."

I am doing the 30 Day Challenge a second time.

The Morning Battle
They say that in the morning classes, although the body may be stiff, the mind, on the other hand, is sharper, more receptive, and still uncluttered.

During my two 8:30am sessions this week, however, I experienced the complete opposite. My body became a battleground and my mind staged a hostile takeover. I permitted myself to come up with excuses – the room was too packed, I didn’t like what I was wearing, I was standing right under the heater – and didn’t fully commit to most of the poses.

This was my reality for two classes. I allowed the mind to win.

/ 100 words

Ray of Light

“The body is an intelligent machine,” we are told. It modifies the poses for its own convenience. “It’s not that you mean to cheat,” the teacher clarifies. “You’re just going down a neurological path to where it feels right.”

What feels right, however, is not always the proper way of doing the poses. This is why struggling happens.

“Don’t avoid it. It’s the light that shines on that new path for your body.” I like that this yoga is never supposed to be easy. It’s in that struggle that I’m able to inch past my limits every time I practice.

/ 100 words

Nothing To Fear
“Reach out even further, and further, and further! Believe me.”

And with that, I just completely let go of two weeks’ worth of fear, which has been keeping me from doing an honest standing bow pulling pose.

In that thirty second one-legged balancing asana, I realized that if I did fall out, face flat on the floor, there’s just enough time for me to get right back in it. No need to waste it on self doubt or on holding myself back, afraid of what I’ll feel next.

I know that I’ll be able to do standing splits one day.

/ 100 words

day one, once more

I did yoga 21 times last month, 9 times short of doing the 30-day challenge. I love that my body is really looking for it now.

Today is the start of a new yoga month. Last month's goal was to make yoga set the pace for the day. And this month’s goal is to do it earlier, at 6.30 AM.

This cute, Chinese lady was beaming, “It feels good!” This is the woman I twice walked to the Sports Club with, telling me she really prefers the earliest class. “I get more done that way.”

Tomorrow, I will try.

/100 words

At Half-past Three

This is what happens when you go to yoga at 6.30 in the evening.

You sweat out the cold, feel great after class, go to bed early and wake up 5 hours later. Your body thinks it’s better than sleep. Boundless energy at half-past three.

Last night was the first time I saw someone pass out. What I admire about her is she got up after a while and kept going. I don’t think I would have done the same.

I realized there are less complications when I go in the morning, so I want to keep it up.

/100 words

The True Test of Addiction

I’ve been going religiously at 9AM for three weeks; today is the first time I miss. I was seriously considering moving my doctor visit but I knew I’ve been putting it off for too long. And now I think a pap smear is overrated.

I’m planning to go to the 6.30PM class but I’m not sure if my body is up for it: my head started to ache as I was having a massage and now I’m sniffling and phlegmy. I finally got bitten by the cold. To go or not to go? This is the true test of addiction.

/100 words

Building A Practice

“The poses you don’t like to do are the poses that are good for you.”

I was so eager to do yoga today, I was slightly disappointed that this morning’s class was so-so. I don’t know why.

I have to remember what he said. It’s not about perfecting three or four poses. It’s giving effort for everything; you build a practice that way.

I feel like going again later this evening. Maybe it’s time I go for a doubles again. I feel much stronger, after all. I used to take naps at noon, now I don’t really have to.

/100 words

My Daily Dose of Struggle

What is the difference between night and day?

I always believed yoga is harder in the morning. My back, shoulders, sides, hips, knees, toes would all hurt.

But in the past four weeks I’ve made a conscious effort to let my practice set the pace for each day. Struggle is hard, but struggle is good, and in the morning, when I wake up, I feel there’s nothing else I want to do. I’ve gotten past the aches and pains.

I got up after just 5 hours of sleep.

Early in the morning, I blur the difference between night and day.

/100 words

Same Second Same Clap

I like that we feed off each other’s energy. We aim to begin on the same second, on the same clapping or snapping sound, but we go at our own pace, our own depth depending on what our body will allow, each day.

He said the rabbit is easy for me and he wanted me to try something else the next time: my forehead more to my thighs than on the floor, my spine then will become more straight when I inch my hips up.

My dream is to do yoga until I can touch my feet to the sky.

/100 words

What Had To Be Done Has Been Done

“What had to be done has been done,” they like to say. I’m glad I went today.

I ate crabs for lunch at home. My dad was being friendly. I told him about how I almost lost my license to a traffic enforcer on Monday.

Pored over illustrations, read, slept in my brother’s room.

Something felt missing.

I followed my instincts and drove to Manila, found myself back at the wall, walked on it, ‘til it ended. Decided to save another piece of it for another afternoon.
Chased after a sunset that came unseen, hindered by a care-bear cloud.

/100 words

Inspiration Is Free

I decided I feel different. Overwhelmed, or unadjusted to this new schedule, this new me.

And the difference between last night and tonight: I didn’t have to wash my hair. No, no smoke smell to contend with. The noise, the pretense, the plastic conversations that last as long as a bottle of beer--theirs, I quit--it gets old.

Trade highway for the skyway, 6 sticks of best-sellers for dinner, black vanilla tea, inspiration, all free. This is my yoga for today.

I took a nap, and photos that I hoped would come out good, well, didn’t.

It’s okay.

/100 words

Our Spines Can Still Grow

“So what, grandma?” he teases.

“Yes,” I am tired.

Laughter.

“I know why, because he picks on you more than I do.” She’s always smiling. I find her nice.

“So, by how much did your spine grow?” I want to know.

“Say, three quarters.” That’s impressive, I think, but do not say.

“I used to be five feet and a half three years ago, but just this year I’m five feet and three quarters.” I am proud.

“Yeah, and I used to be five-two and a half. Now I’m five-four.” She does look it. Amazing what yoga does.

/100 words

Lola Does Yoga

“You know I think you are the best teacher because after class I feel five years younger.”

“Oh, that’s good, haha!”

“But when it’s he who teaches I feel like a grandmother! Everything starts to ache.”

“Oh, that’s good, too! That means you’re working harder, haha!”

The thing about them is that really, I think they are the best teachers I can ever have. I have never been as determined to pursue a good practice as now. I see myself letting yoga set the pace for my every day for as long as I can wake up before 9 AM.

/100 words